Woman Of The Universe #13

“Above Average” – “That could quite possibly be the name of my autobiography, if I ever had one, that is. Which is highly doubtful seeing that I am, after all, above average. I’m not sure what I should even feel about that at this point. All my life, since I was a first grader to being the woman I am today, all I have been , in everything I do , is above average. Its not particularly a bad thing, since I am better than most, just never one of the best…”

She often lived with this melancholy, a feeling  that lived in the darkest corner of her mind. Something, that however hard she tried, couldn’t shake.. She was grateful for the things she had, a respectable degree, a  decent job, a family she loved. But every now and then she'd visit this darkness, this fact, that she wasn’t good enough. Worst part, it wasn’t something she could help. She had always worked to the best of her capabilities, always aimed for the top, but despite her possessing every quality to be the best, she'd always end up being just good enough, just above average.

When she was younger, she'd always wonder of what went wrong. Why couldn’t she be top in class despite having the mind for it, despite working for it. Why is it, that all she got was to be in the ‘good student’ category. That went on in college, always the bright, good, obedient girl, never the best...

Then came the next phase, the stage of acceptance, the point in life where she fathomed that, this was her destiny, to simply be above average. So she learned to embrace the reality that she couldn’t alter and instead chose to work with it. She stopped fighting it, gave up the question of trying to figure out reasons as to why she couldn’t achieve what she knew she was capable of…and instead devoted time to everything that she was…

Once, she stopped asking and thinking about not being able to be the best, she started to live, with all the good she had… And once she started to live, she learned to be happy. To be grateful for all that she was instead of all that she couldn’t be. To love herself and all her imperfections and quirks and failures. To stop looking at others achievements and feeling small. Realising that everyone has a different set of question papers in this test called life, so there is no point in comparing the answers or results. We just need to live and attend to the questions in our paper, instead of spending time and energy looking into other’s lives, for, this test has no room for cheating…(unlike math)!

It took time and work and years of practice, but one day she got there… A place where she put herself on the top, where she decided that she was worth it, and somehow that was all that mattered…